Nope, I don’t chop my own garlic. I’m too obsessive-compulsive to do something like that, because each tiny smidgen of garlic would have to be exactly the same size and shape. It would take me hours to get each piece to be exactly 1/16th of a millimeter.
Instead, I use the garlic press. I know, I know….real chef’s don’t use this ugly contraption. But, I get some sort of pleasure from squishing the hell outta a chunk of vegetable and getting a squirt of puree land on my cutting board. Its a very satisfying sound.
I’m not coordinated enough to do the Martin Yan move – where he whacks the unsuspecting clove of garlic with the side of his fat Chinese cleaver. I got the warrior-yell down pat “whhhhoooooppppaaaaaccchhhhaaaawwww!!!!” but adding a sharp instrument with a kung-fu like swing is way too dangerous for me. I can barely hit a whipple ball with a golf club!